Sometimes I feel like a total failure.
I feel lost. Like I have no sense of identity or belonging anywhere.
I reflect on my life and think about the things I have accomplished and to be honest, its close to nothing. I haven't won any awards, be really skilled at something, make money or done exceptionally well in school. I'm always making the same stupid mistakes over and over again. I can't even say I'm living my life to the fullest and making the best of it.

What am I doing with myself really? back to top?

At a blink of an eye, I've already hit 21.
I can't believe how time flies. I'm no longer a troubled teenager cruising through school life in comfy safe little Singapore. I'm now an undergrad studying in Sydney University, living alone in this foreign land. Can't say I saw this happening when I was 13. I knew that one day I would return to this country, but I never expected to be where I am now.

I've come to a point where I realized how much everyone has changed and moved on. Not saying that it is a good or bad thing, but somehow its just different. I know they say that change is inevitable, and we will all evolve and change some way or another. But sometimes it feels like I no longer know who I am, or the people around me anymore. It feels like we've all gone to develop certain interest, gone with different social groups, have differing ideologies and basically the only thing that is holding us together as friends is the past relationships that we hold. The memories and feelings we shared or experienced together till we have all took different routes or created different relationships in life. And beneath all these changes, how do you know the person you think you know now is still the same person you met/grew up with? That deep down you still have that special relationship with each other you once had, and none of it its just a facade? back to top?

It's been awhile. Again.
I guess I should start making an effort to blog more so I won't forget all these wonderful moments in Sydney.

Last night Halloween celebration was a blast! XL and I went around make-up shopping in the afternoon all over Broadway and Newtown and bought tons of makeup so that we could get the most perfect zombie makeup. Its such a change from last year's girly 'Greek gooddess' costume because this time I feel like I'm actually making an effort to go all out and make myself look super ugly and gory. I was hoping to get results like Michelle Phan in her Zombie Barbie makeup tutorial, but I think I only managed to get it 60% right. Not bad for a first time!

The guys were surprisingly spontaneous too, going all out to rent and buy costumes. I mean most Singaporeans are honestly quite unspontaneous when it comes to costume events or celebrations, so it was rather refreshing to see them being so 'on'. So as usual it was pre-drinks at MS, then we went to Bamboo. And surprise surprise, only 20% of the people are in costumes. Pretty bad for a western country... Or maybe it was because we were in an Asian club.

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I often wonder about experiences in life. Whether is it better to have experience something so comforting and wonderful, but to feel empty and sad when you know you can never re-live that moment... Or whether its better to have never experienced it at all, and never know what it feels like.   back to top?

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Random rubbish conversation with Nick that I find highly amusing.


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Oh wow, how long has it been since I wrote an entry on this blog...?

I guess its time to start clearing the cobwebs off this blog and pick up where I left off. (My written English is really rusty, so pardon me if there are any grammatical or spelling mistakes. *cough cough*)

The past few months have gone by in such a blur. I ended my school term, completed two internships, and successfully graduated from SP. The next step was having to make the decision of whether I wanted to complete my University degree in Singapore or Australia.

I would say that decision was even harder to make than choosing between the JC/Poly route. Sometimes I wish I didn't have a choice. It is not that I am ungrateful that I even have a choice, but rather as a fickle-minded person, I think having one-option-only route would be the most ideal for me. Ultimately, I just applied for all the University that would (possibly) accept me, and left the decision to God's hands.

There was a point in time where everyone asked me why I couldn't or haven't decide on a University, and I shall attempt to explain it now. The thing is, I've narrowed down and decided that I would only apply to three state Universities - namely UNSW, USyd and UMelb. The first two is in the NSW terriority, while the latter is located at Victoria. Both NSW and VIC have two completely different admission centres, named UAC and VTAC respectively. In order to apply for a course at a University, I have to apply directly to these two admission centres. These admission centres act as a middleman between the University and the applicant. This also meant that the official offers are released by the admission centres, and NOT by the Universities themselves. The official offers were only released on 23rd June (UAC) and 14th July (VTAC). So I hope this helps give everyone a better understanding!


Of course there were other factors too, like whether any of the Universities will accept me and my shitty GPA. That was something I was highly uncertain about. I would say that the only time that I was truly confident that I wasn't going to SIM, was when I came back and realized my offer letter came when I was away in Australia. Because at that point in time, my fee payment was a few days past the due date and they wanted me to pay the next day latest. So I was thinking "fuck it, let's just see how it goes. At most I'll work till the next SIM intake right?". But of course I still prayed every week that things will work out, and thankfully my prayers were answered! Everything went rather well (after a few hiccups along the way), and on the 23rd of June, I had an offer from USyd!!!!

So why USyd? It's another grandmother story. Afew months back, I met this wonderful lady named Karen from USyd's School of Business at the University of Sydney Day held in Hilton. I swear out of ALL the staff there (even at IDP), she was the most helpful and informative representative ever. (I know because I can seriously punch some of the people there! They don't even know what they are talking about.) She answered a lot of my questions, and helped me along the way with my application process. Something which none of the other universities were willing to do. Especially UMelb, STUPID UNIVERSITY *PUI* not even willing to give me a chance.

So... that's basically the story of how it all began, and how I ended up where I am. I have so many things to say, but I guess I will save that for another entry.

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