I really can't help but think how horrible my life is right now.

Every single day some sort of bad luck will come my way. I can't help but think "Why me?". Why do I have to be the one suffering and facing all these fucked up shit? What have I done to deserve this? Like today I was already feeling quite dejected over some matters. But to make things worse I accidentally knocked over Ben's drink, causing it to spill everywhere and the table being wet and sticky. I felt so guilty and angry with myself for causing this to happen. I was feeling so stressed and frustrated with all that is happening that I broke down and cried. I hate myself for being so emotionally weak. Why can't I just be strong, suck it up and move on with life?

And just when I was starting to feel better and window shopped with Ben and Nick, I realised I lost the $50 I brought to school. It's like day by day, I'm starting to lose things around me. My dance shoes, my home, X and lastly my $55. It's like the whole world is against me, trying to make me suffer slowly but surely.

This day really made me reflect on myself, and especially on my actions. I really don't know what or who I am now. I feel like I have lost Me. I feel like I have no purpose in life. I feel that I'm just a useless piece of crap, and I'm not intelligent, talented or attractive in any way. I'm not the most filial daughter, and I don't even have any plus points about myself. In fact, I would totally hate Me if I were to meet myself. I'm a very moody person, most of the time whatever things I say is mostly negative and I judge bad things people without thinking. Sometimes, I don't even know why my friends are still my friends. Will anyone even remember me when I'm gone one day...

I'm not suicidal or whatever shit. Just going through a huge ordeal in life, and writing down my feelings. The last thing I need to anyone to take pity on me and treat me any differently.

But can you do me a favour and tell me what do you most remember of me? Personality/Behaviour/Attitude/Actions. I think getting honest nice or bad-in-a-joking-way answers will help me feel better. :) Leave your initials.