You know you were sooo close to being the top. So close to achieving something you wanted. You wait in anticipation for your result, staring and checking at your phone all day. You still haven't receive the call yet. You decide to check your Facebook and surprise surprise, the other 18 girls have already been notified. You realize you've probably didn't make the cut. Your dreams, your hope, your ambition has been crushed. And most importantly, your ego has been bruised so bad.

To some it may be nothing, but for me it was something I wanted it so badly. Why? Because I thought it was something I could be good at. See, I can't be a commentator, a host, an ambassador, a writer nor a lecturer's pet and now I can't even get 3 men to choose me as top 20. I initially wanted to write this post earlier. But I was hoping I would be announcing FUCKYEAH TOP 20! instead of the fucked up post.

Yes, life goes on. Yes, there will be other opportunities in life. But how many of them will I actually be part of? Anyway, here's the whole process.

1st round audition at Suntec City mall. About 400-500 girls showed up, including me! :)

2nd round was closed door audition at Subaru Hub. About 140++ girls showed up. 1st round on that day was to walk in groups of 5, smile then walk out. From there, they cut down to 80+ girls. We went in groups of 10, gave a brief introduction of ourselves and did a catwalk. And 10years later, they announced the results! I was one of the top 25. I was frickin happy that day. But it kinda sucks to know you're in, but no officially in. I know I should be happy for making it this far. But sigh, it's just not fair :(

3rd round - Photoshoot at SPH.

Qian Ru was one of the girls I talked to~

Petrina.

See how nice her maxi dress is! *Jealous*

I think I had the suckiest outfit and hairstyle. Just look at that baggy shapeless brown thing. And my hair was ironed straight like I just rebonded it. Compare our clothes and hairstyles!! :'(

I frankly don't know how to "rock my outfit/hair". All I could feel was boring, dull, plain jane. I was kind of disappointed that he guy in charge, wee teck, didn't give me much tips on how to improve during. I mean, I think it would've helped... you know. Even it was harsh.

When I asked him why he didn't give me tips, he said: "you did well what!!". Well either he's lying, or he already gave up on me during the shoot :(

Btw she's 181cm, freaking tall zomg. Taller than you, you and you.

Scary close up of me. ^^

The other 5 girls! The rest made it through except for me, and the girl holding the cam. Sighhhh.

Whatever man.