Me: AHHHHH AHHHHHHH %67#@%^#&@^&

Mum: What? Cockroach ah?

Me: NOOOOOO ITS A BLOODY BIG SPIDER!!!!!!!!!!

Mum: Ohhh, I see it. *Takes plastic bag and attempts to catch it. But the spider fell and landed somewhere*

Me: AHHHHHH. OMG JUST TAKE THE BAYGON AND SPRAY IT.

5min later...

Me: OMG I SEE THE THING!!!!!!!!!! LOOK LOOK ON THE CEILING!!!!

Mum goes into the kitchen and sprays the Spider. Spider falls down and starts spasming awhile before it climbs up to a small table. It then crawls back and forth around the table leg showing no signs of defeat or injury. It stays at a stationary position, as if it were mocking me and telling me that my Baygon was of no use.

Me: OMG JUST USE A CLOG AND HIT IT.

Mum: YOU DO IT. Wait, use a newspaper to hit it instead. *handing me a roll copy of TNP)

Me: Hello this won't smash the intestines of the thing!!!!!

Mum: Will lah, just use it.

I was tempted to run over and smacked it till all the guts came out, but I chickened in the end and decided to stare at it from the living room. All I could think of was "DIE LITTLE FUCKER DIE!". True enough after 10min, Spider decided to drop off and spasm on the floor. Hooray! Then I went to spray more Baygon and after 5min, it curled up its leg and lie motionless on the floor.

Mum: Since I killed it, you better clean it up.

Me: NOOOOOOOOO WAY.

Mum: Use those da pao wooden chopstick and pick it up!

Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, can I use the broom method?

Mum: You sure? Later the spider eggs get stuck to the broom and when it hatches the baby spiders will be running everywhere.

Me: .......... Must I reallllly do it?

Mum: Hahahaha yes, go take a chopstick.

And so now I'm going to use a chopstick to pick up a spider. WTF.